In true Killer Chicks style, we're having fun re-imagining holiday movies as thrillers. Join in! What holiday movie would you like to see made into a thriller?
Joann: I LOVE It's A Wonderful Life. I've watched it every year since discovering the brilliance that is Jimmy Stewart and it never fails to make me cry. However, just once I wouldn't mind seeing George Bailey poison crotchety Mr. Potter with a few of Zuzu's petals or talk him into jumping off the bridge or stuff the money Potter steals from Uncle Billy down the old man's throat. Yeah...that'd be okay. Also, George would need to get away with it. He'd be Lecter, Dexter, and John Doe rolled into one sweet-talking psychopath.
JB: I'd pick Ruldoph, but despite expectations, I wouldn't turn him into an ostracized school shooter. Instead I'd let him have the last laugh.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away (okay, the North Pole) there lived a disfigured reindeer with a weird, red, glowing nose named Rudolph. None of the other reindeer would play with him and they were known to call him names. Poor picked on Rudolph spent too much time playing violent video games.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve this old, fat dude had the nerve to come and say, “Rudolph with your nose so bright. Won’t you guide may sleigh tonight?”
And Rudolph said, “Hell no! Find your own way in the dark.”
So, idiots that they were, Dasher and Dancer, and Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid, and Donner and Blitzen flew off into the fog never to return again.
Rudolph is the only reindeer left.
THAT’S why he’s gone down in history.
Jenny: ROTFL! I'd like to see a thrilling twist on How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Imagine the Grinch is being hunted by a mob of vengeance-seeking Whoville Whos. After all, he's ruined their Christmas, and that's just not okay. They'd climb up to his mountain top home, and in organized SWAT-team formation, take him out. Then they'd cart his body back to town and stick his head (and just his head) on top of the town's Christmas tree. The moral of the story? Don't f-ck with Christmas, kids.
Have we blown your warp-o-meter yet, friends? If not, what holiday movie would you like to see made into a thriller?
15 comments:
That's hilarious! What a great idea. My fave is Christmas Story, so it'd be fun to see Ralphie and his buds really go on a manhunt for Scut Farkas and take him down. No mercy!!! lol :)
Luv the Grinch remake. Let's see. What if Frosty just melts, never to become a snowman again. What a bummer.
I'm going to go with A Christmas Carol, wherein the Ghost of Christmas Past makes Scrooge watch as he kills everyone Scrooge loved as a boy; the Ghost of Christmas Present gives Scrooge's entire business away, one coin at a time, to strangers; and the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come abandons Scrooge in his loveless, lonely future, where he has no standing, as he has already died.
ROFL
How about Scrooge in A Christmas Carol. He remains self serving to the end after all!
Oh I've just noticed someone else has suggested it already LOL!:O)
Elf:
A disillusioned homeless elf must journey from the North Pole to find his lost family. When his search leads to NYC, he discovers his father is alive, but is being held captive by terrorists who've taken over the Empire State Building. Now, Buddy the Elf must not only save his family, but also bring the Christmas Spirit to a group of mercenaries who are hellbent on destroying the planet. "Ho, Ho, Ho Yippie-ki-yay mother@#!!&)!!"
I view this as a direct sequel to the Die Hard movies.
Those are all hilarious. I was reading them aloud to my daughter and we were both roaring. Thanks, gals. And thanks to the other commenters - those suggestions were great, too.
How about Miracle on 34th Street? Only Santa goes ballistic on those lawyers trying to bring him down?
wasn't Rudolph already made into a thriller? Maybe I'm thinking of that elf movie... Anywho! I think I'd go with Frosty... He could be like Mr. Freeze and make you very cold... or give you a cold.
OK, I'm still on drugs for my cold, and it's winning. Dang Frosty!!! :D
Merry Christmas, girls~ <3
Ha ha ha ha ha!! You guys are hilarious. I think between Robot Chicken and Futurama, these holiday movies-turned-bloodbaths have been fully realized. Oh, and South Park, the show that never flinches. The Christmas special they did with the woodland animals was just gross.
Polar Express: trapped on a train hurtling through a blizzard, with a demented psychopath on the loose in the caboose.
I love the idea of a Rudolph remake. :D
Roland had a great story on his blog where he turned Santa into the villain. I'd love to see a Santa movie like that.
Jai
These are all hilarious!
Hilarious! How about one where Jimmy Stewart comes out of the river as an undead? THAT would liven things up a bit!
How about someone beating the hell out of those ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future. Teach them for waking a man out of a dead sleep!
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