Ingredients
3 - ∞ (infinity) months of stubborn determination
1 terrible first draft (must be reeking of plot holes, flat characters, and stilted dialogue)
Let simmer and stew for 3-6 weeks.
Add
3 gallons coffee
19 lbs chocolate
1-2 red/purple/blue/green pens
1 notebook, preferably pretty
3 cups confidence
Dash of hauteur (to taste)
Directions
- Brew coffee to desired strength. (Seeing around corners and inside the minds of those nearby may indicate coffee is too strong.)
- Unwrap chocolate, place at the ready.
- Pull out Terrible First Draft (TFD).
- Uncap red/purple/blue/green pen.
- Open notebook (preferably pretty).
- Read first chapter.
- Sip coffee, eat chocolate.
- Try not to choke when you discover you’ve opened your novel with a weather report inside a dream sequence.
- Sip coffee, eat chocolate.
- Jot notes in (preferably pretty) notebook.
- Close notebook.
- Season your rewrite session with a dollop of daydreaming, a large helping of imagination, and a liberal splash of self-belief.
- Gradually allow yourself to remember why you love your story.
- At the last minute (the one before you lunge for the trunk), fold in 3 more cups confidence, a sprinkling of cheekiness, and 1 pint of Never Give Up (do not substitute for generic).
- Remember: you can do this because you are a writer. Writers write, but you know what they do better? They rewrite.
- Get back to work.
Place on Shelf for all to enjoy.
Did I miss any ingredients or steps in the process, friends?
8 comments:
Awesome post, Joann! My version calls for slightly more chocolate, but other than that, you're spot on. I also tend to let the whole mixture simmer while I procrastinate and sprinkle it with some tears of frustration now and then for flavor.
Oooh, I like this. Great post. The strong coffee - that's my main ingredient LOL!
Awesome! My recipe calls for one mini-breakdown during revision. A bit of salt from the Tears of Frustration just adds that extra... oomph.
Excellent post. Your bit about seeing around corners means your coffee is too strong cracked me up. I only wish my coffee did that. I'd never trip over the cat again. ;o)
Jennifer & R.S. - I knew I was forgetting one essential ingredient!
Lindsay - mine too!
B.E. - your cat would find a way. They always do.
My recipe involves walks as an optional ingredient--sometimes they are a necessary ingredient, and sometimes they're just timewasting. I'm better at telling the difference.
And I think there is some secret Cat Insurance Agency, where cats take out policies on their people, and wait for just the right time to collect . . .
You've totally nailed it. Genius post (then again, I expect nothing less from you -- no pressure there, lol)
This recipe is me right now.
Angelica - walks are a must-have, absolutely!
Jenny - we are all cookie dough in the revision stage.
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