What the hell made me think I could do this in the first place?
I forgot how hard this is. I forgot how much it hurts.
Oh my god, I'm only halfway there. I'll never finish.
Look at all of those other people who are so much better than me. It looks so easy for them. Effortless.
Only an idiot would voluntarily put themselves through this.
I hope I'm going the right way.
I'm never going to reach the end.
Those were some of my thoughts last weekend as I trudged through the pouring rain for 13.1 miles. At about the ten mile mark when I was feeling particularly disheartened (fatigue, pain, and being soaked to the skin has that effect on a gal) I realized that my litany of complaints sounded awfully familiar.
I think pretty much the same things EVERY time I'm writing a book.
There comes a point (for me it's just about the midpoint) when I throw up my hands and swear, "I'm never doing this again." Just like there is inevitably a moment when I wonder what the hell made me think I'm capable of writing a novel. And I always, ALWAYS forget how hard and yes, painful, the process can be. I run through the entire list of complaints and then some.
But I don't quit. I keep moving. I grit my teeth and accept that all the discomfort is part of what makes the undertaking something exceptional. Lots of people say they want to write a book, but few sit down and do it.
By showing up every day to write, YOU are doing what others deem "impossible".
Speaking of the impossible...if conditions permit, this Wednesday I'm going to tackle the challenge of writing 10,000 words in a day. You can sign up too! I'll try to post my progress on Twitter throughout the day.
Tell me Killer Friends: What have you done more than once, even after you swore you'd never do it again? How do you get past those bumps in the road that all writers face?
In case you're wondering, I did finish the half marathon and as I crossed the finish line I was thinking, "That was fun. I can't wait to do it again!"
And then I hobbled back to my hotel room to take some Aleve.....with this HEAVY finisher's medal around my neck.
8 comments:
Cool medal! Congrats on finishing! Loved this post, such a great analogy on why it's so important to push through the pain. :)
Rock on man, congrats on roughing it out!
They say nothing worth doing is easy. Your perseverence inspires me!
Yep, you rock. =o)
I'm working through my own bump in the road right now. I don't know how I'll get over it - I just know I will, eventually. You can do anything if you set your mind to it. Cliche, I know, but true. Some anythings just take longer than others.
I'm so proud of you!!!!
I felt the same way climbing Mt Washington every time. But every time I set foot on the summit, the joy surges through me and none of the struggle matters. In fact, it is the struggle that makes the achievement so delicious. Looking down over what I had climbed and knowing the endurance I wrung out of myself, what I'm capable of, it is so rewarding. Not to mention how good the NE Clam Chowder tastes at the summit cafeteria. It would probably not taste as good at the bottom and without the climb.
And, yeah, writing. Why, why do I still do this? For the same reason as climbing Mt Washington. It makes me feel alive and strong and connected to something bigger.
.....ummmmmmmmmmmmm Philly? LOL
I may borrow the medal for a WEAPON!
(so darn proud of U)
Runner Girl
Jennifer H - Thanks! The picture doesn't do the medal justice...it's such a cool little piece of art from the way they recreated the Capitol bldg (the race finished in front of it) to the date inscribed on the guitar.
The East Coaster - The bands along the course had a rough time. At least I'd had some idea what I was getting myself into.
Jennifer C -- I aspire to either inspire or serve as a warning that these are the actions of a slightly crazy woman. ;-)
B.E. -- and sometimes those bumps teach you things you weren't expecting.
Cynthia -- Savoring an achievement (or chowder) after a struggle is definitely sweet!
Runner Girl -- No! Get your own heavy medal!!!
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