I was looking back at some of my very old blog posts, and I
came across a post I’d written about the frustration of talking about writing
with non-writers. Here’s a snippet:
This morning I had a conversation with my best friend. We
talk every morning and she asked me what I was doing today. I told her I was
going crazy trying to fix the ending of a story. In edits I need one more scene
to wrap up the plot and give the whole thing a more satisfying ending. Her
response was:
“What do you mean?”
I thought I was pretty clear. The edits are driving me
crazy. I don’t know quite how to fashion the last scene without it sounding
lame.
“I don’t understand.”
What’s not to understand? She couldn’t seem to figure out
why this was giving me trouble. Why didn’t I just WRITE it and be done with it?
Since that’s what I do, it must come easy to me, and therefore there’s no need
to ‘get crazy’ about it, or be frustrated. Just do it and be done with it and
move on to something else.
It sounds great in theory. Writers write. Therefore writing
should be the easiest thing in the world. Fix a scene? No problem. Presto, it’s
fixed. Write a new ending for a story I originally finished last summer? Cake.
Just do it.
Arrgh! Is it me, or do other writers suffer from this as well?
Do your non-writer friends and family just assume that you sit down at your
computer and write and that’s that? Do they think there’s no process, no
rewriting, no editing, no tearing your hair out over dialogue that makes you
cringe and narrative that gives you a rash when you read it? Do they think it’s
never hard for you to do this and they can’t understand that some days it’s no
easier than dragging your butt to an office and dealing with a boss who wants
miracles on a daily basis? Sometimes finishing a story, or doing proper edits
or writing a decent blurb or cover letter is like performing a miracle. You
start with absolutely nothing – or scattered threads of something that don’t
amount to very much material, and you pull it together and create something
that works, and hopefully something that not only works, but SELLS. Why is it
hard for people to understand that this is not EASY?
Tell me about a conversation you’ve had with a non-writer
that left you confused, frustrated, annoyed, irritated or – maybe enlightened,
energized or epiphanied? Epiphanized? Ephiphinated? Anything?
5 comments:
See, this is why I don't talk to most people about writing. They don't get it. And trying to explain it? You might as well try to teach a chicken to be a duck. Lucky for me, my family pretty much understands - even if they don't - that I'm in my crazy place and they leave me alone to do what I need to do. My poor mother just lets me rant and tries to sympathize - bless her heart.
The worst, for me, is when some acquaintance who knows I write asks why I'm not published yet, and then gives me that face when I try to explain. You know the face... part pity, part disgust with a dash of 'patronizing the mentally disabled'.
Yeah, B.E., I hear you. People wonder why I don't talk more about my writing - that's why. I find it usually ends up in me trying to justify something I've done or not done, since the accepted model for a writer's life is: 1) write a book [probably over the course of a weekend], 2) send it to a publisher, 3) rake in money like you're JK Rowling. Anyone who doesn't follow those basic steps is obviously doin' it wrong.
Oh, I've also had someone [I won't say who] actually ask me if I thought it was wise to send my work to a publisher, because wasn't I afraid they might steal it? Try explaining that one.
Someone once told me this: Never talk to non-writers about writing. They won't get it and no matter what you'll never be able to explain it to them.
I've tried to follow that advice as much as possible because you're right - it's so frustrating! I still come across irritations though. Like people asking whether or not I have a real job besides writing. That happens all the time.
Jai
I've got to say that I agree with Jai about this one. I avoid the conversations as much as possible.
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