If you follow my personal blog, you know that I've been posting my goals for 2013 and my progress.
One of my goals for this year is to run with someone other than my DH and dog. It may seem like a simple goal, but it's one that terrifies me. Why? Because I'm a HORRIBLE runner.
I'm slow, slow, SLOW.
But last month someone invited me to join her on a group run and Sunday I gave it a try.
I was too slow for the group. (which sucked and was humiliating and which frustrated me beyond belief) but because I went out out and joined them, I was able to snap this picture. (Which I love because in the six years I've been going here I've NEVER seen so many geese on the pond.)
It was my silver lining.
So was trying and failing, because I got over my fear (obviously a justified fear, lol). You're probably thinking I'm not going to try that again, why subject myself to a situation fraught with the possibility of failure, but you'd be wrong.
I've been in touch with the group and will try again with the soon (albeit with modified expectations).
I'm telling you this because over the years I've known writers who tried something, failed, and gave up.
Or who've tried something, failed and have repeated the same process over and over again, learning nothing from their misadventures.
Or those who've tried, failed, and blamed others completely for their failure.
I've probably been guilty of all of the above myself, but I've learned the following from running:
1) If I give up, I'll never cross a Finish Line.
2) If I fail once, I need to learn to adapt my strategy the next time out.
3) It's not the fault of everyone else that they're faster (better/more successful) than me.
I may be slow, but because of these beliefs, I'm improving. I've completed 3 half marathons (13.1 miles) and I took 15 minutes off my finishing time last year. So I AM getting a teensy bit faster.
I feel like I've learned from all of my writing failures (not all "happy" lessons, but things I needed to know). I try to find the silver linings in most situations.
I believe that setting a goal and actually going for it, can be the biggest success of all.
Tell me Killer Friends: What are you afraid of trying? What are your goals for 2013? Have you learned from your failures? What silver linings have you found?
Another scary thing I'm trying this year, is to post free-writings each week on TEN MINUTES TO THE UNIVERSE along with my pal Cynthia Valero.
This week I posted one featuring some of the characters from CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN. Check it out! If you're feeling brave, play along!
10 comments:
I'm a firm believer in silver linings. If you look hard enough you can find them in unexpected places.
I didn't know you were a runner, JB! Me, too - and very, very slow - and struggling right now because I'm training for a full in May and then 50K to celebrate my 50th birthday in September. That should cover the questions about my goals for 2013 and my fears in one tidy sentence!
I don't set goals - I do a Word of the Year and my word this year is REACH. Looking for the silver linings is a good reminder as I reach, to stop and smell the roses along the way. Thanks.
There was a movie?? I'm seriously out of the loop on films.
I'm glad you took the chance, JB, and that you'll continue with it. My big fear is that I'll be the one trying and failing and repeating the process without realizing it. Am I doing things differently? And if I am, are they different enough to bring me a different outcome this time??
I try to be the kind of person who can see the silver lining and the kind who learns from my failures. I do eventually - time and perspective help. But I'm slow about it. I'm much better at pointing out other people's silver linings.
Janet -- Wow, those are some BIG goals. I love REACH as your word of the year. It sounds like you're really taking that to heart. Will these be your first races of those distances?
B.E. -- LOL, re: movie.
I think that being open to critiques/criticism and trying out the suggestions of others, even if you don't agree with them...ESPECIALLY if you don't agree with them, is important. If, after you've tried the new way you decide you still don't agree with it, then, and only then should you dismiss it...imo.
For example: My DH thinks I don't push myself hard enough and that if I did, if I regularly extended myself out of my comfort zone, I'd get faster. My defensive answer is "I can't!" which is really a whiny excuse. The truth is I'm desperately afraid of getting hurt, so I won't. If I ever get brave enough to take his advice, I'll probably improve leaps and bounds....but I have to make that first leap....do that thing that makes me sooo uncomfortable.
I feel that way about my writing too....sometimes I'm tempted to do what I'm comfortable with instead of pushing myself to go farther.
My first at these distances, JB - I've done 3 half marathons before.
Janet -- How exciting for you! How are you finding the additional mileage??
According to yesterday's blogpost (Debriefing the Bad Run not very good! I haven't even started to get to those numbers beyond the half marathon distances, so I'm a little afraid, JB!
Your blog is fabulous, Janet. Hang in there!
Thanks, JB!
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