I'm coming up on a birthday. Not a milestone birthday, just A birthday. Birthdays tend to make me introspective. A dear friend and I literally wish one another "Happy Pensive Day."
So, in the spirit of introspection and the post I wrote last week about Thinking Less and Doing More, I've been thinking about what I want.
Meanwhile I've been talking to people about what THEY want. And after many conversations, I've come to what I'm sure will be an unpopular conclusion: While they SAY they want things, I'm not sure they do.
Now before you think I'm judging others harshly, let me explain how this theory applies to me.
I SAY I want to lose weight/run faster/be a nicer person, but the truth is, I'm not willing to do the work to actually do that. Sure I'll lose a few pounds/improve my running time a bit/make an effort to reach out to others-- but I won't REALLY commit to any of those things heart-and-soul and my results will reflect that.
We all know someone who, against all odds, has committed to one of those things (or something else equally impressive). We marvel at their dedication and wish we had their passion. We covet their results.
Just like we all know someone who wants to lose weight, take up running, get out of an unhealthy relationship, write/sell/publish a book, or do something else equally impressive, but NEVER makes more than a half-hearted effort to do it. They binge on Girl Scout cookies (is there a better food to binge on?), make excuses not to exercise, complain about a relationship, fail to write/send out query letters/listen to and learn from criticism.
If we're honest, most of us (all?) fall into the second category (I do!) where we CLAIM we want something. We might even BELIEVE we want it, but it's not what we really and truly want....because if we really, REALLY wanted it, we'd do everything in our power to make it happen.
So I'm going to make a radical suggestion: Focus your energy on what you really, truly, down-deep-in-your-soul WANT. Not what society wants, or your family, or your friends, but what YOU want. Not what common knowledge says can be done, but what your wildest dreams can imagine.
The other "wants" are just time and energy sucks -- black holes of aspirations you'll never achieve.
In a couple of weeks, when it's closer to my actual birthday, I'll tell you what my WANT is and what I'm doing to make that happen. (I will tell you that I've already started pursuing it and that those privy to my plans have reacted with a myriad of reactions...everything from "wow" to "aren't you afraid...?" to "I don't think..".)
Tell me Killer Friends: What do YOU really, really, really want? What "wants" are you willing to put aside to help bring your dreams closer to reality?
*Please forgive me a moment of braggage (good made-up word or not?) but I am SO FREAKING HAPPY that FURTHER CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN is numbers is STILL in the Top 30 of Kobo's Humorous Fiction List!