Sometimes I feel like being a writer is a 24/7 job. Since I began writing for publication about ten years ago, I’ve been ‘on the clock’ essentially, always writing, editing, blogging, or promoting or thinking about writing, editing, blogging or promoting. During all of that activity, I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about things like cleaning, laundry, cooking, yard work etc. And when I was doing those domestic things, I was feeling guilty about not writing, editing, blogging or promoting.
I envy the people out there who seem to have a handle on making writing their job without having it become a full time obsession. I confess, I’ve never been able to do that. When I was a stay-at-home mom with a part time office job and what should have been ‘plenty’ of time to write, I was still frazzled by everything I had to do.
When I was a part-time secretary with two kids in grammar school and what should have been ‘plenty’ of time to write, I was still at wits end a lot of the time.
When I was a full time writer with a part time office job and a part time editing job and two kids in middle school, with what should have been ‘plenty’ of time to write, I still spent a lot of that time worrying that I wasn’t utilizing my time effectively.
Now, I’m a full time secretary with a part time writing job, on hiatus from my editing job and I’ve got less than ‘plenty’ of time to write. In all this time I’ve actually managed to write a lot more than I think I have. When I count words and manuscripts, it’s quite a bit, but I still wonder how much more I could have done if I could have gotten out of my own way, put aside the worrying that I wasn’t doing enough of this or enough of that or that each hour I spent doing one thing could have been better spent doing another thing.
You would think in all the years I’ve been doing this, I would have it all figured out by now, but I don’t.
I suspect there are a lot of writers like me out there, who are trying to do it all without neglecting anything, and always feeling like they’re falling short. I think it boils down to asking too much of ourselves and not taking the necessary time to recharge and regroup.
If you feel that way, raise your [virtual] hand. If you don’t, if you really have figured out how find time to do it all, let me know – and better yet, write a book about it. I guarantee it’ll be a best seller.
On that note, this is my last regular post for Killer Chicks. I’m grateful to JB for inviting me to her corner of the web and for indulging all of my multiple writing personalities. I’ll drop by now and then and I’ll always be checking in to see how things are going here, but I’ve decided to spend more time concentrating on my writing goals for the moment.
I wish all the past, present and future Killer Chicks the best of luck and I’ll be rooting for their continued success. Thanks for reading!
Jennifer and Bernadette