Tuesday, September 30, 2014


Here's a quick, unedited tidbit from the eighth story in the CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN series:

After seeing him out, I returned to the basement where I heard Piss purring, “Big, juicy purple mice.”
“Is she asleep?” I whispered to DeeDee.
The dog licked my hand in silent confirmation.
“Big, juicy purrrrrrrple mousie,” Piss practically cooed.
I snapped her leash on her collar and then went to retrieve God from his terrarium.
 “How ya doin’, big guy?”
“There’s no tv in here,” he groused, scampering from my hand up to my shoulder. “The drugged out feline carried on for most of the day. She’s definitely got a problem. We need to schedule an intervention.”
The three of us slipped out of the B&B unnoticed through the cellar door.
“An intervention for a cat?”
“She’s displaying definite drug seeking behaviors. She’s demanding, exaggerating symptoms, exhibiting mood disturbances, and I’m pretty sure I spotted track marks on her legs.”
“You think a cat is shooting up?”
“She’s crafty,” God said defensively. “Okay, maybe not the track marks, but even the slobbering beast can confirm the other symptoms.”
“True,” the dog who was considering eating a pile of poop left behind by who or what knows what confirmed.
If I hadn’t been nursing my own suspicions about the cat’s behavior, I wouldn’t believe them, but since they were pointing out the same things I noticed, I had to face the knowledge that I had drug addicted cat.
“Okay,” I told God. “We’ll figure out a way to help her tomorrow.”
“Excellent decision. Maybe you can send her to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting with Leslie.”
“Maybe I can consult a vet for professional advice,” I countered.
“Whoa!” the little gu


B.E. Sanderson said...

How did I miss this?? Well, Tuesday was the vet experience day, but that's still no excuse.

This is AWESOME! And I can't wait to read the whole thing. Squee!

Aisyah Putri Setiawan said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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