Monday, October 20, 2014

Tips for the Not-so Serious Dieter

1) A cupcake eaten before noon counts as a muffin.

2) Broken cookies have no calories.
  2a) Unless you break the cookie on purpose, then you've doubled the calories.

3) Fat free dressing negates the fat content of salad toppings.

4) Technically, all food is 'organic'.  If it was inorganic, we couldn't eat it.

5) Having a burger with lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles counts as having a salad.  If you make it a cheeseburger, you've had milk with your meal like a good girl.

6) Ketchup is a vegetable*. (Hey, if schools can count it as a veggie, so can I.)

7) Therefore, chips are also a vegetable. 

8) And Starbursts are a fruit.

9) Pizza, with the right toppings, contains all four food groups, so it's good for you.

10) Half a piece of pie contains 50% less calories than a regular piece of pie, so have two.

What are some not-so serious diet rules you've used or heard of or follow religiously?

* Well, technically, ketchup is a fruit.

4 comments:

Karyn Good said...

Love #4! And #8? That's how I feel about chocolate covered raisins!

Silver James said...

Cracking up over here. My additions:

a) Calories consumed while standing are automatically worked off.

b) Food qualifying for the 5 second rule are also calorie-free. (Hey, you did a bend-over-touch-floor to retrieve it! That's exercise!)

c. When under deadline, all foods are healthy and calorie-free.

B.E. Sanderson said...

Well, Karyn, we should make another one that says when chocolate covers any 'healthy' food, it's automatically healthy, too.

Love those, Silver! But if you throw it on the floor on purpose, it adds calories. (Gotta keep people honest, doncha know.)

Aisyah Putri Setiawan said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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