Wednesday, October 7, 2015

What are you afraid of?

It seems like I've been having a lot of conversations about fear lately.

Not things like this

or this

or  this

No, I've been having conversations about stuff like this

I've had conversations about failure, or more specifically the fear of failure, with a lot of people, but the most interesting conversation was with my physical therapist.  (I had knee surgery a couple of months ago and I'm working to regain use of my knee.)

He told me to do something and I said, "I can't."

"No!" he yelled.

(He yells that A LOT...but means it in the best possible way.)

"You're failing to try," he lectured.


How many of us are guilty of that in many aspects of our life?

I am.


So now I'm trying to be aware of when I fail to try. 

(And yes, I'm mentally yelling, "No!" at myself whenever I catch myself doing it.)

I'll share something, I'm afraid of failing at:

Later this month, I'll be releasing my romantic suspense novel UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT.

I haven't put out such a dark book since 2011.  I'm afraid it won't find an audience. I'm afraid those that find it will hate it. I'm afraid that I've wasted a lot of time and money on a project that will end up being a massive failure.

I caught myself "failing to try" to make the book a success when I realized I was putting off purchasing advertising. After all, if I don't put the word out that the book exists, its failure won't be my fault, right?



Tell me Killer Friends: What are you afraid of? And how do you combat your fears?


B.E. Sanderson said...

He yells at you?? Nope. I don't respond to yelling. Especially someone yelling 'no' at me like I was a toddler about to touch the hot stove or a dog piddling on the carpet. Nope nope nope. You get more done with firm encouragement and gentle correction. Like when you trained Smudge. Right?

So, it's a dark book. Look at how well Jenny's new release (former Killer Chick, Jennifer Hillier's Wonderland - available at fine stores) was accepted. Sure, your usual stuff is light, but you'll find a market for this. Some of your regular fans will become fans of this, too, and you'll find new fans. So, go buy the advertising, get the word out, and see what happens.

I think I'm too stupid to fear failure for my books. Except for like the day before when it's too late to stop the bullet train. And after, when the train's already crashed into the station. I think my big fear is throwing money at advertising and then not seeing a return. I hate wasting money. Of course, you have to spend money to make money, so I really need to get over that, bite the bullet, and throw some cashola around.

Long comment. Sorry. Anyway, my big fear is moths. I've spent years tackling that one. I still can't touch one or have one on me, but at least I don't scream and freak out when they fly around nearby. Silly, I know, but that's why they call them phobias. =o)

I also have a fear that something will fall out of my big mouth and offend people I really care about.

jblynn said...

He's Polish and really loud and passionate. I find it quite amusing.

Yeah, but all of Jenny's stuff is dark.

Really? I fear that EVERY book will fail. I fear that I'll never be able to write another book. And during the creation of every book, I fear I won't be able to finish it.

I can see how moths could be creepy. They move strangely.

LOL, I worry about offending people too.

Karyn Good said...

I know exactly what you mean. Releasing a book is exciting but also terrifying. I doubt my ability to write. To entertain. To satisfy. To engage. I doubt my ability to put out the next one. What if I fail at all of it? Those thoughts are all there rumbling around in my head. Good to know I'm not the only one.

Can't wait to read Until Proven Innocent!!! Also, I was following an agent chat on Twitter a week or so ago and at least a couple of them were looking for dark romantic suspense. So there must be a call for it!

Cynthia Valero said...

Great post! I'm afraid I'll never learn how to get the hell out of my own way. :-)

jblynn said...

Karyn -- We're not alone in our misery, lol

Cyndi -- I know that feeling well

Kim Karalius said...

Let's see... my top fears lately have been not finding a parking space and failing to introduce myself to new faces around the break room. Of course, the fear of writing-related failure is horrible and it seems to never go away. But if we keep trying and choose our goals over our fear, then we're going a great job, right? (Right!)

Your book is going to be awesome!!!! Can't wait to read it!

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