If commercials and magazines are to be believed the upcoming season is all about bringing your A game. I don't have an A game when it comes to shopping, wrapping, or cooking. But I've got sit, read, and visit locked up. So...win!
We all know successful holiday management should be a team effort. There is no 'i' in team after all. So why do I feel so alone while making my holiday lists? You know what word has an 'i'? Village, which is what it takes to pull this whole thing off. There's also an 'i' in insanity. And let's face it, the holidays are a slippery slope, my friends. Maintain your sanity at all costs.
But apparently the best defense is a good offense. But since I'm not a sports person I don't know what that means. Time to force the players to buy into the coach's system. And that's me - the holiday coach. And it's a must win game. So, the pressure's on.
Go big or go home, baby!
I'm just kidding, do whatever you want. Wear what you want, reindeer antlers go with everything. Eat want you want. Sing. Laugh. Take a nap.
Know where else you're supposed to bring your A game? The bedroom.
Eight purple passages are up for the prize every author dreads, the annual Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction award. Can Erica Jong beat Morrissey to the sweetspot?
The Guardian's Bad Sex Award 2015 contenders in quotes. Perhaps they should leave the writing of sex scenes to
* Using sports analogies in the bedroom can be hazardous to your...health.
Have a wonderful Monday! And remember: Put Your Game Face On.
What's your favourite sport's cliche?